Ep. 9, Scene 1 *Love Makes U Do The Wacky*

Scene 1
Lisa's-Interior-TableIt's been a week since "Sickning & In Demand". Julian, Stony, and Darnell are sitting down talking. Well, Darnell and Stony are talking, Julian is leaving Terrance yet, another voicemail.

Julian
Hey baby, it's me...
(looks at Darnell & Stony like "sorry")
I'm just...giving you a call. Again. Haven't seen you in...its been so many days already that I can't even remember, just...
(sighs)
Gimme a call when you get this...and the other twenty seven and half messages I left you.
(hangs up)
Ok. So I'm single.
(cries)
Oh my God, I'm singleeee. Why did I do this to myself, you guys? I started out with no man and than I got a man, than I HAD two men and now I have none.
(thinks; serious)
Ya'll think I got a hex on me?

Darnell and Stony laugh, Darnell sips some of his Evian.

Stony
I don't know WHAT you whining like Kanye West at the Grammy's for.

Darnell
The Grammy's?! That boy will whine at any award show that don't honor him for...wearing them glow in the dark space visors everytime he sing something about somebody loveee locking down...they are kinda sickning though, I gotta tell Z to make a note.

Julian
Kanye's on my "ish list" for what he said about Britney, he act like HE'S the most sickning performer of the year! Who does he think he is? Looking like a crazy reject out of "Sarafina."

Darnell
Well, YOU just went off!JulianI'm upset! And since I can't take it out on myself, I'm taking it out on Kanye...he deserves it anyway for what he said about Britney, she's a goddess.

Stony
Ok, Frick and Frac. Before we were derailed from our conversation about my baby's up and coming BORN day by your weekly episode of "Dumb Bitch, Pick Vernon"...
(clicks pen)
Where were we?

Darnell
(attitude)
WHAT is you and Z's fixation with the store clerk? I have seen CUTER...car babysitters.

Stony
(confused)
Who the hell are you talking about?

Julian
(shaking his head)
He means the people who do valet parking and Darnell for the last time, His NAME is Vernon! Not the store clerk! He doesn't even work at a store anymore!

Darnell
(picking up a menu)
Oh enough of this, I'm hungry. What we gonna eat?

There are a bunch of papers, brochures, and pamphlets on the table of different countries so not too much food can fit on it.

Stony
So guys, I was just thinking, I wanna go on a vacation...

Julian
I thought we were talking about Z's birthday plans? Clubbin? Party? Going to that...
(gets scared look on face)
Wax museum. Guys, I really don't wanna go there again, it creeps me OUT! NOBODY can tell me that the Michael Jackson figure thingy DIDN'T touch my ass.

Stony
We were talking about that but while ya'll was uselessy not helping? I decided that instead of doing some--lame party, I'M gonna use this an opportunity to dip into my "Never Going Back To My Momma's House" account and...take me a little vacation. I'm about to go into early retirement.

Darnell
Yeah, you and Z need it! She's been going on and on and on at work about that Kasey guy! I never thought I would find comfort in...being nice to a potential house buyer and...taking my time to actually sell them something good. Z has done the unthinkable. Remind me to give her a raise.

Julian
So you saying that basically you've been spending extra time actually DOING your job and selling LEGIT houses JUST so you can stop listening to Z talk about Kaiseem?

Darnell
Yes! AND I've been giving her one hour breaks and three day lunches but she won't take them! Cause she scared you gonna step on her again with the guy who fixes the elevator since Stony gota thing for the help who work in the building.
(to Stony)
YOU'VE passed your curse onto me and I aint gonna have itfor much longer. I hope you don't think that she's over your little Bill Clinton moment you had in the oral office.

Stony looks oblivious, he and Z discussed this and he was ok with it. Kaiseem hasn't been a problem since he told him off.

Stony
Apparently, I'm out of the loop, mary cause me and my boyfriend have been fine.
(to Julian)
We...have been...fine, right?

Julian's eyes widen, why do they think he always knows? I mean, he does but still.

Julian
(pause)
Z feels like her trust in you is fading. It's NOT that she doesn't love you or anything but...she's scared, Stony. That's all...I guess she--hasn't told you--yet.Stony looks insulted.

Stony
I don't know why?! I TOLD her that I didn't do anything with Kaiseem...

Darnell
Well, ya did kiss him.

Stony
YOU'RE cheating on Malik!

Darnell looks insulted.

JulianAnd you DID lie about it for a long time...

Stony
YOU cheated on Terrance in front of a crowd of people!
(ancy)
Come on, let's go, I am SNAPPY today maries! I can come back allll day, let's go.

Darnell and Julian look at each other, still getting over Stony their hypocrisy in their faces.

Darnell
Well, in my defense, Malik already KNEW I was a hot commodity when he got with me. It's not my fault that I was given something that can't be HELD back from the male species. I can't be missing out on...

Darnell sees a very handsome white guy walking past the window of Lisa's and he stops at the corner.

Darnell
All of THAT and HE can't miss out on all of this...

A car pulls up and Malik Kyle, Darnell's "boo", gets out and kisses the handsome man he was just looking at! Julian, Darnell, and Stony are shocked.

Stony
And apparently your boyfriend can't miss out on it either.

Darnell looks like he's actually hurt by the fact that Malik is apparently seeing someone else...and than suddenly, he grabs stomach as though he felt a sharp pain.

"Nah, nah, nah, naaaaah, nah, nah, nah. I Guess I just lost my husband, I don't know where he went..."

Z/Stony's Apartment Building-Courtyard
"So What" by P!nk opens the scene. Z walks outside in flip flops, shorts, shades, a fitted, and a cute little jacket. She sees Kaiseem standing there, looking at him with a very stern expression with his arms crossed. Z looks at him like "Is there a problem?". Kaiseem just smirks at him cockily, Z decides it time to confront the bitch so he walks over to him.

Z
Um, you was looking kinda hard so I wanted to see what the problem was. Is THERE...
(takes off flip flops)
A problem? Oh wait, YES there IS a problem cause I KNOW you was trying to steal my man right from under my nose! Kissing him, taking him to dinners, threatening him? Who the hell do you think you are trying to come in and disrupt MY organized dysfunction that I've put THREE years into perfecting?

Kaiseem
Listen...Z, V, whatever you--call yourself...Z looks like "oh no, this bitch didn't" and takes off his jacket.

Kaiseem
To be perfectly honest with you, yeah I kissed Stony. Cause I want him back and I don't think he has ANY kind of business with you...

Z takes off the little bracelets on his arm, paying no attention to Kaiseem as Kaiseem keeps talking.

Kaiseem
Stony couldn't get over me, that's why he chose you, I hurt him and...


Z takes off his hat and places it on the floor nicely and han punches Kaiseem who falls out out of view and Z goes offscreen, continuing to attack him. You can hear punches being thrown and faces being bruised.

End of Scene.

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